Yesterday, in the UK, it was Mother’s Day, (in the US its in May, meaning mothers get two ‘days’, fathers one?!?! sounds right!).
It struck me though that with both my parents having passed, I am an orphan; an older one yes, but one all the same. I’m of course not making light of young children who are left alone after losing their parents; I lost my father fairly young and know the devastating effect it has.
Since my father’s death my Mum and I had several run-ins, until she herself passed the reason now seems unimportant but it did put a major strain on our relationship but time is indeed a healer and as the years go by the wounds heal and the bad memories fade, leaving only the good ones, like the one above.
When I see how some mothers are with their grown up children it makes me miss her more.
My mum, and my father, encouraged me in my music and writing tremendously, but not to the point of forcing their own ‘dreams’ on to me, far from it. I’m very aware of this with my own children. A old friend of mine got all three of his sons to play guitar because he did, to some success I must add, but it never seemed natural for some reason.
We have guitars and pianos in both homes and at one time or another through their lives the kids have picked one up and sat down and played. Bailey did and then stopped but has for some reason just started picking up and playing the guitar again – I’ve told him, its the best way still to get girls!
Music and films are a major part of our lives as is child care through CJ. It’s been a natural progression though that Taylor now works with her and Courtney is now working in music in Nashville. Taylor has inherited CJ’s amazing ability with children (not her own though!!!); he’s a natural with them and they love him at the nurseries.
I have supported Cardiff City of course, since a kid, but mainly Manchester City – the glory days of Colin Bell and Francis Lee, Mike Summerbee. Taylor supports Liverpool, bit of a bromance with Steven Gerrard I think, but that’s the way it should be, isn’t it, that they make up their own minds, find their own passions?
After having experience of stage mothers at the theatre, seeing them pushing their untalented, unhappy kid onto the stage, it made me all the more certain not to impose my dreams on to my children, perhaps to the point of too much so? Finding a balance as a parent is the hardest thing I think, different methods for everyone.
Here’s a great, apt song, from one of Cardiff’s finest, Budgie with Burke Shelly, Tony Bourge and Ray Phillips, and a track from the album Never Turn Your Back on a Friend, called Parents. (A couple of years ago Burke tried to get the blue baseball shoes I was wearing that night from me, after liking them! Glad he seems to be much better after a bad illness) http://youtu.be/nHPCtgmtS68